Jigglypuff Roasts People!
by ACT II
Summary: Jigglypuff has a show where she makes fun of Smashers. That about sums it up... or does it? Might not be updated again.
1. Donkey Kong

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

I remember there's some show called Annual Roast or somethingwhere they make fun of people though I've never seen it, I thought this up last night so here:

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There was a studio set, the walls were blue pastel colored and a green neon shape of a cooked chicken was hung in the center. Pink graffiti was scrawled over the sign that said in that graffiti font 'Jigglypuff Roasts People!' to the far right, just in camera range, was a big fish tank with gold fish in it, to the middle left were some black weird looking seats.

Jigglypuff walked on stage with a mic and hopped into the seat to the far left. "Hello, and Welcome to JIGGLYPUFF ROASTS PEOPLEZ!" the audience laughed.

She stared, "The other one."

The audience cheered and clapped.

"Now, our first guest, for some reason the author forgets him more than Game and Watch, Donkey Kong!" Jigglypuff screamed into the mic so loud that the audience clapped their hands over their ears and said 'ow' all at once.

The ape was pushed on stage by some stagehand off camera.

"Sit down please," DK did so on the seat opposite of her.

"I see your wearing a red tie. Are you, like, obsessed with, red?" Jigglypuff said, no one laughed.

"Anyway…" she glared evilly at the audience who didn't stare in horror and just watched with blank faces. This made her angrier, "I heard you were in love with that creepy Jamaican cinnamon stick whatever thing in Apple Jacks cereal?"

"WTF? No." DK said,

"O YA?" she said n00bishly, "Than what's… THIS!" The Pokemon whipped out a picture of the two holding hands.

"That's a badly drawn sketch, and it says you drew it underneath." Pointed out Donkey Kong.

"O RLY?"

"Huh?"

"MADE YOU LOOK!" they then stared. No one laughed.

"This is going no where, send the guy on fire out." Whispered Jigglypuff.

Suddenly a guy ran screaming on fire across the stage.

"OK! So I heard you like dieing." She asked, suddenly a huge rock fell on DK, sadly it was huge to an ant and nothing happened, "Nutterz… I also heard you were raised by pizza bagels."

"No… I think you got yourself confused with me and Marth." DK replied,

"Back to that death thing…" she said as a laser hit DK, but it was just a laser from a laser pointer pen, "Poo… Would you go into this pit of rabid babies," some stagehands rolled in a plastic pit on wheels, "For a picture of your idol, Pichu?"

"No, and Pichu is not my idol!" DK said, starting to get annoyed.

"Sure… I guess you also wouldn't like this." Jigglypuff said sarcastically as a pile of nuts buried him.

"See you next time! And this is not a rip off!" Jigglypuff shouted as the audience cheered and the camera backed away.

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And that's just the beginning... Review also please.


	2. Marth

I realised I should make my chapters longer, sorry this one isn't, Or am I?

**Dis**claimer: I own this peanut... I hope.

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Jigglypuff hopped on her seat and tapped her microphone, getting electrocuted, then lied there for five minutes, then awoke "Hi my peeps! Today we will be roasting-"

She forgot. Her smile faded as she just stared blankly at the camera, dead air happened for five more minutes.

"… Marth!"

Marth was dragged screaming on the stage by ducks strapped to his boots. Marth pulled himself up on a chair and ripped the ducks off, which then began attacking an audience member.

"Uh, Hi…" Marth said, getting comfy,

"O YA?" she asked,

"Wha-" Marth began,

"MADE YOU LOOK!" She screamed, "Anyway, be comfortable, have a peanut," Marth took a peanut from a huge pile behind him with DK buried inside somewhere.

"So, there's been gossip that you've got a sex change… to a guy!" a laugh track played since the audience didn't react.

"Not true." Marth said,

"Donkey Kong said you were raised by pizza bagels, this true?"

"JOO TAKE THAT BACK!" Marth screamed, standing up,

"Ooh, is, is. Like. That your thing, like, acting up?" Jigglypuff asked smiling slyly at her witty joke,

"… Huh?" Marth asked,

"Would you smell these underpants for a free mustard stain?" she pulled out a used underwear, thing, "Roy says you're obsessed with mustard!"

"No I'm not!" Marth replied,

"Uh-huh, so is it true you are bald and that you cover your head in honey, dye hair from Roy, Peach, and Link that you ripped out while sneaking around in pink spandex and stick it to your head?" Jigglypuff asked,

"Nope, this is my real beautiful hair!" Marth stated.

"Do you wear boxers or a thong under your spandex on a 'midnight run'?" she asked,

"NO!" Marth yelled, getting agitated,

"You yelled. Are you getting agitated?" Jigglypuff said,

"No…" Marth grumbled, crossing his arms and turning away.

"Is it also true you once proposed to a raisin?" She questioned,

"NEVER!" Marth cried while chucking nuts at her.

"Hey- Ouch! Ow!" she said, the Pokemon tossed the mic at Marth who got electrocuted, "Yayz!" she cried triumphantly.

"So, Mewtwo told me you were a taco in your past life. What do you have to say?" Marth didn't answer because he was unconscious.

"St00pid n3rd!one!one!one?" Jigglypuff told it like it wasn't, or was it?

A dog ran onto the stage and tried marking Marth's face, but was bone-dry and grabbed Jigglypuff in it's mouth, running off stage.

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Not that good but oh well (too effing short).

Review.


	3. Peach

**_Disclaimer_**: This is ast00pid thing to do and it annoys me when people keep putting it up and saying 'why do I have to do this?'oh well, I have to dothis so there.

I have two ideas for stories; a cowboy one, if I can do it right, and the other I techincally had since year 2000.

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Jigglypuff jumped on her chair, "Today our next guest is Peach!" 

A trap door opened on the ceiling and Peach fell through it screaming as some stagehands closed it, realized they were just hands and died of blood-loss, though the blood-loss had nothing to with the fact they were hands with bloody stumps.

"Yo Peach, what up my home-dawg-shiznet-whatever-krap?" Jigglypuff asked, pointing the microphone to her.

"This show is teh suxx0rz!" Peach tried to mess up but miserably spoke correctly.

"JOO PHAILED? HOW DOES JOO FEEL?" Jigglypuff said,

"Like a world-infamous soda can floating in lava and surrounded by break dancing toilets." Peach replied,

The audience imploded from this.

"I've heard rumors that you tried eating a banana and failed miserably, did this really happen?" Jigglypuff asked,

"NO! HA JOO GOT A TYPICAL RESPONSE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" Peach laughed in horror/spiritual.

"…" Stated Jigglypuff, angry, "What if this happened?" she asked, grasping for anything entertaining and fun.

Some Redeads came in and tried eating Peach's face off.

A raving herd of magical talking phonebooks drank the zombies and choked to death.

Peach took a phonebook corpse and looked up a phone number.

"What are you doing?" Jigglypuff asked, annoyed that they let the raving, magical, talking phonebooks out a little too soon.

Since Peach didn't have a cell phone, she kept an entire wall with a phone attached to it in her pocket. She dialed the number.

A wall imploded and a helicopter landed on the street, Peach ran to it.

"NUUUEEEZ!11!" Jigglypuff cried and threw her microphone at the princess. Everything slowed down, all Matrix and/or/is/are/was/were anime style. Peach dodged it; the mic hit the helicopter, causing it to explode. Peach turned to see Jigglypuff; the two fought each other with swords as wide as the street, a very small sword's width kind of street.

They then summoned clear colored unicorns and rode on them while they fought, the horses were also break-dancing on big rubber balls, which rocked on a roller coaster going very fast.

Peach knocked Jigglypuff's sword away, "Give up now Puffball!" she exclaimed climatically.

Peach then fell off into a dormant volcano.

"YAY LOL WTF BBQ!" Jigglypuff said.

Peach flew out on her Pegasus.

"XOMG JOO IS CHEETING!1" Jigglypuff said.

Her horse began eating the roller coaster; Peach stood on its head and jumped onto the roller coaster.

"This show ends now!" She said dramatically and full of drama,

"O YA? EAT THIS!" Jigglypuff said and gave her a plate of cheese slices.

"OOH HOW YUMMY!" Peach said.

The magical flying horse ate them, then smacked into a building, leaving only a green stain on the wall.

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Once again too effing short... maybe some exing and/or teeing too... 

XOMG.

EPIC FIGHT SCENE LAWL.

XOMG.

REVIEW PLZ ROFL.


	4. Samus

Read!

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"Our next guest is Samus!" Jigglypuff said.

Samus appeared in a chair, "WTF? How did I get her- oh you."

"Hi! Now first, I must ask, do you wear that suit all the time because you're really ugly?" she said,

"No!" she protested, but this was still Jigglypuff,

"…" Samus said, looking at her.

"Um… Why do you say you're a girl when you're clearly a male robot?"

"STFU! I am a female!" she said,

The audience stared blankly.

"Do you like beans?"

"HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed and chased Jigglypuff with a steamroller

Jigglypuff ran out of the back exit door as Samus plowed right through it.

She ran down the street and the bounty hunter ran over cars looking all cool.

Samus charged up a shot and fired at the Pokemon but missed.

"Weren't you the winner of 'Miss Lame Aim'?" Jigglypuff said in to her mic where the audience could only hear her.

"No, that was you." Samus said,

"O RLY? Jigglypuff, is it true you suck at aiming? WTF WHY YOU LITTLE!" Jigglypuff said and jumped backwards, she landed on Samus's face.

Samus tried prying her off but to no avail.

The steamroller went out of control and smashed through a strip mall.

The two fought as the machine smashed through wall after wall and everything looked neat and cool and stuff.

The machine stopped in the middle of a highway. Samus fell out and ripped Jigglypuff off her face.

She tapped her microphone on Samus but she had taken Xap-B-Gon and nothing happened.

"NUUUEEES!" she said and started crying.

"Awww!" animal lovers said and took Samus to court for cruelty to animals.

"SHE'S A POKEMON YOU ST00PID NURDZ!" Samus cried and was taken to jail for two and a half days.

"YAY!" Jigglypuff said and acted cute and sad when ever they were looking.

Her mic then electrocuted her and the animal lovers sued the mic, which died.

The audiences at her show cheered at all of this even though they missed it by staying there. Then just sat there because they had on lives.

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WAY TOO SHORT!

O YA?

YA.

O YA?

YA.

O YA?

YA.

O YA?

YA.

Nuts, now O YA? has been used too much and is probbably now unfunny.

O RLY?

RLY.

O RLY?

RLY.

O RLY?

RLY.

O RLY?

RLY.

Yay!

Kirby: - 

ME: (get's impaled on one of the s)


	5. Fox

YAY A TRUE 'TOO EFFING SHORT' CHAPTER!

And I'm just gonna guess my usual reviewers did review but it messed up... (sniffs) Mainly because I got the same number of hits in the first few days I always get.

* * *

"YAYSH!" Jigglypuff yelled as she came on her stage, she threw her Q card that said 'YAYSH!' on it like a Frisbee, chopping someone's head off.

"WUPZANOODLE," she got on her chair, "Today is Fox!"

A bus, advertising her show, rolled to a stop on the stage in front of a chair. It then drove off to reveal Fox in the chair,

"NUEZ stupid show…" he said.

"So tell me, how come I HATE YOU YOU'RE SO STUPID AND ST00PID AND UGLY AND STOOPID AND I HATE YOU YOU'RE FAT AND O YA AND YA YA AND STFU AND GTFO!" Jigglypuff asked, "U. G. L. Y. JOO IZ TEH UGLIZ!1"

"That's all?" Fox asked.

"No," she replied, "also; do you like pie?"

Fox ran behind the stage, then came out in a colossal robot made of cows.

Jigglypuff ran out screaming hysterically as it stomped inches away from her.

Hundreds of moos were heard as she got in a pink Ferrari and sped off.

She dodged the sprays of milk and flew off of a conveniently placed ramp, blowing up as it hit the ground.

The shrapnel imbedded into some cows, which exploded anime style with beams of bright light shining shinily out of it.

"Don't steal my props!" the Pokemon shouted.

She was then crushed by a falling cow.

"Aww!" said some old lady, "A stray!"

Later…

"Stupid Jigglypuff…" Fox said, at the animal shelter.

"They said I only had to do two and a half days time!" Samus said, filling a cage up to the top in dog food.

"You too?" he asked her,

"SHUT UP." she yelled, chucking a milk bone in his general direction.

"… Stupid animals…" she said, trying to wash a hamster with rabies, "EVER HEARD OF EUTHANASIA?" she yelled again as it tried biting through her armor.

* * *

I'm going to either do Mario, Luigi, Link, Captain Falcon, Falco, Ganondorf, Zelda, Pikachu, Pichu, Roy, Kirby, Mewtwo, Yoshi, Young Link, Nana, Popo, Bowser, Ness, Mr. Game and Watch, or Dr. Mario.

Huh.

YAY FILLERZ!

NOW REVIEW.


	6. Roy

This isn't dead I guess!

* * *

Jigglypuff slid on stage, listening to Fall Out Boy on her iPod, "Firstly, I'd like to do this," She said, hooking the iPod up to a large speaker.

After five seconds the audience went on a rampage eating each other, leaving teabags all over the place.

"I have no idea whether you liked it or not…" she confessed, "Next up, our guest is Roy!"

Roy came in screaming hysterically, tied to a cow.

Roy switched to walking, struggling to hold the cow up.

"Get this thing off me!" he grunted, Jigglypuff gave it to a soup kitchen.

"Sit please…" she said, Roy uneasily sat down.

"So, I've heard you have an obsession with soup? I think this isn't true, you just had and affair with a flavor packet _for_ soup, am I right?" she asked.

"Not true!" Roy yelled, causing the teabags to turn into peanut butter sculptures.

"So, can you dismiss the fact that you look up many sites that have soup porn in them?" Jigglypuff asked, pointing the mic at him.

"No…" Roy said; drawing out the word as if wondering what to say so he wouldn't look guilty.

Jigglypuff slightly smiled, "Now, do you really like eating encyclopedias for Kwanzaa and/or Easter?"

"No, that's for weirdheads…" Roy replied, crossing his arms.

"Now for a break!" Jigglypuff said, Fall Out Boy music turned up as the camera backed up and faded away.

"Now listen Roy." Jigglypuff snapped, poking Roy in the arm, "This is a family show! We'll have to censor that now!"

Then the break was over.

The camera came back up to them.

But the music didn't turn down, Jigglypuff got up and kicked the speaker, the iPod flew out and went into a stagehand's mouth, causing him to choke.

"TELL ME THIS ISN'T DEAD SEXY!" Jigglypuff said, 'Sexyback' played as stagehands rolled a tray in front of them, a Ramen soup packet on it, a disco ball came down and the packet slowly took its packet off in front of Roy.

Roy smashed it over Jigglypuff's head and ran away, "Ooh he's abusive to things he loves…"

Roy was then in for community service.

"You too?" Samus asked Roy, as they picked up trash in park.

"Are you sure this isn't a landfill?" Roy sighed.

"Yeah it's a park…" Jigglypuff lied.

* * *

Review! Force feed back is kind of hot!


	7. Ness

XOMG READ:

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Jigglypuff rolled on stage as a spotlight followed her, she posed and waited for the microphone to fall into her hand, but they missed the mark and the audience was electrocuted.

The audience then went on mad rampages and ended up going to the movies.

Jigglypuff pressed a button on her microphone and a new audience materialized in the empty seats.

"EVERYONE THERE'S FREE TEABAGS ON THESES SEATS!" someone yelled and everyone ate them,

"Hi!" she said, "Today we will be having Ness as our guest!"

A huge beach ball rolled in and was popped by a stagehand, Ness falling out.

"Welcome to JRP! Have a seat," Jigglypuff said.

Ness ate a seat.

"I meant sitting down but whatever…" she sighed and Ness was tied to a chair hanging a little bit above the stage by a rope, "So, Ness, can you confirm that when you're bored you sometimes pretend your head is a potato?"

"I only did it once!" Ness admitted angrily.

"What a good guess…" she whispered to herself… into the microphone though and everyone heard it.

"Could you get me out of these ropes?" Ness grunted, trying to move an inch, causing the chair to swing back and forth.

She opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly she was violently beaten by a Snickers® bar.

She punched it out and cut it up on a platter, "Who wants free candy?"

"How could you cut up a living thing while it was still alive? Someone asked, called living candy activists but they ate the candy, not thinking and were hungry, then noticed this and went emo, someone said, then noticed he said what he was going to do out loud and ate all the candy." One of the camera guys said.

"… Anyway…" Jigglypuff spoke, turning away.

Ness took his trusty chicken out and made it ravenously chew the restraints off.

"So, Ness, is it true that you've always wanted to be eaten by my guard hamsters; Leo, Leon, Leonard, Leonardo, and Fuzzumz the II, the sequel?" she asked.

Ness ran off as rabid hamsters chased him out of the studio.

Ness came back in with a Transformer robot made of toilet paper and Ness as the head as he smashed everything, laughing madly.

Jigglypuff ran out as the audience ran at him and tried eating him like his machine was made off deep-fried plastic-filled broccoli.

Jigglypuff got some distance as Ness fended the hordes off, but was eaten alive.

The puffball somehow got Ness into detention for this.

"But I didn't do anything!" Ness cried.

The teacher shushed him, "Two more days of detention now."

Then Samus and Roy came in moping the floor, even though it was already clean.

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NOW REVIEW PLZ.


	8. Young Link

This stroy isn't dead again!

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"HEY EVERYONE!" Jigglypuff cried, bouncing into her chair, though no one applauded because they were store mannequins, "I want you all to welcome Young Link!"

The kid was shot out of a cannon into a seat… then Young Link.

This caused the audience to laugh, this freaked everyone else out so a real audience replaced the mannequins.

Young Link got into a chair, "… Oh this is that stupid show."

"Its not that we're stupid, but that you're stupid!" Jigglypuff said,

"I'm rubber you're glue, whatever bounces off of me sticks to you." Young Link said,

Jigglypuff ran off crying.

Jigglypuff came back in with two machineguns and blasted Link away.

Though all the bullets just grazed him.

Not enough to injure his skin.

"Uh… Let's start shall we?" Jigglypuff said nervously, throwing the guns away.

"Let's not." Young Link said,

Jigglypuff ran off laughing.

She came back in with two strong men, which beat up Young Link.

"As I was saying," Jigglypuff said, throwing the guys away, "Is it true you always torment your older self?"

"No, everyone knows it's the opposite…" he lied, crying, then when Jigglypuff wasn't looking, he ate her mic, though it wasn't made of chocolate coated chocolate as he thought so he was a little sad.

"Are you a little sad?" Jigglypuff asked, taking another mic out and shoving it in his face.

"No, I'm a tiny sad." Young Link said.

Jigglypuff ran off laughing.

"ENOUGH!" she said angrily, coming back in, "Can you tell me why you have such an obsession with Cheese Its?"

At the word, Young Link ravenously started frothing at the mouth, screaming the word Cheese Its as he started destroyed the studio with his bare hands.

Young Link was then strapped to a tricycle and pushed onto the freeway, though the vehicles all missed, he then lied by the freeway for days, living off of poisonous plants.

"That's all for today! See you next time!" Jigglypuff said.

* * *

Review or get diarea or however you spell it!


	9. Mario

Yet another chapter!/?

* * *

Jigglypuff burst through the wall to heavy applause, some workers started putting the wall back together.

"Hi! Settle down!" she yelled over the voices.

"You want to see another Smasher get made fun off don't you?" Jigglypuff asked.

The audience went dead silent.

"First I want you all to see my new fog machine!" she announced, pulling it out and turning it on.

The studio was really foggy and no one could see anything.

"Now, meet my next guest, I mean victim… Mario!"

The fog cleared and Mario was stapled to a chair.

"How are you doing?" Jigglypuff asked.

"I'm in a lot of pain." Mario said.

"Why?" she asked,

"I'm stapled to a chair." Mario replied angrily.

"Oh, well that's nice, so I've heard you like buying bags of Playstation 3s and eating them like chips?" Jigglypuff asked.

"Yes." Mario replied.

"Ok… and Xbox 180s?"

"No…?" Mario said, looking at her like she was a sick freak, as she was, which was why him looking at her weirdly was normal.

"Oh…" she said, trying not to look offended, hiding the bag of Xbox 180s that she conveniently had under her chair further back. But her dyslexia caused her to push it out in front of Mario.

"And, I've heard you have a bun in the oven!" Jigglypuff asked.

"Oh yeah I do!" Mario screamed, as his oven caused his house to catch fire, burning the whole city down.

"That's all for now! Bye!" Jigglypuff said cheerily on the rubbles of her studio, the skeleton audience fell off the chairs.

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Review or eat playstation 3s like chips!


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